This is hard to share…
I am going to really bare my shadow side with you today.
But before I do, I have to ask: Do you realize how fierce you truly are? Do you know your power?
Today, I am a fierce goddess who creates what I desire most in my life. But I wasn’t always like this.
I’ll start here… I spent a year abroad in Thailand in 2009. It was one of the most eye-opening experiences I’d had to date. It was my first time out of the country and it pushed my comfort zone like nothing I’d ever done before.
Yet when I returned home, I still had so much that I needed to process, which required that I hang outside of my comfort zone. But I didn’t give myself to do that because life back in the states was “normal” and, like I’d always done before, I just wanted to just fit in. So instead of staying on a path of personal awareness and awakening, I chose to cover it all up with men, alcohol and psychedelics. That was easier – or so it seemed.
It got ugly. I lost myself – I went further down the rabbit hole than ever before. I spun out of control.
I tried to “find myself” in drugs and partying. But really, I was putting a cover over who I really was because I was afraid of her. I didn’t know how to love myself – and I believed that I could only find validation from others. So I surrounded myself with others who accepted this altered version of Meagan.
Yet one day, I woke up alone, broke & broken. I couldn’t keep it up anymore. I thought… “I just want to be happy. There must be more to life than this.”
30 days later, I moved up to the mountains of Pennsylvania, where I knew virtually no one, to take care of 5 amazing children… and to find myself.
I didn’t know where to begin, so I just started by hooping every day – I knew that being in my hoop was a space that I felt good. Then I began to exercise every day, because I wanted to feel good about my body. Then I began to journal because I was beginning to bring up a lot of “stuff” and wanted to get it on record. Then I started eating healthy because I wanted to feel clean and pure.
Step by step, I was opening myself up – like a book, reading each page and learning something new.
What happened was that I no longer needed anyone to validate me. I only needed me.
3 months later… Return to Roots (my first real business) was born. No experience. No connections. Just my own faith that I could handle it.
I share this with you because I want you to see yourself in this story of transformation. Wherever you are today… know that you are capable of SO MUCH. The challenging experiences are necessary and are meant to show you how strong and capable you really are.
Ever since that experience – just 5 years ago – I learned that I had power. I learned that I didn’t need anyone or anything to give me power. I realized that I had it all within me – and you, my dear – you have it all within you too.
Use those times where you are pushed to your limit… use those moments to set fire to the limited version of WHO YOU ARE and step further into who YOU DESIRE TO BE.
Rise like the phoenix – it’s what the fire is for. ????